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I have published two humor collections: one of satirical essays and sketches titled Indecision Now! A Libertarian Rage, and a comic fantasy novella called Get Thee Behind Me, Santa: An Inexcusably Filthy Children's Time-Travel Farce for Adults Only.
Upon request and for a donation of $20.00 or more, I will compose a sonnet in the style and on the topic of your choice. If you want a Spenserian sonnet about marrying the Pastor Fred Phelps and raising dozens of fat grandchildren in Rwanda, I will so write. If this is something you're interested in, just shoot a quick e-mail to the address on my contact page and simply articulate your desire. Your wish (plus a minimum twenty-dollar donation) is my command.
Here's a sonnet I composed upon request, on the subject of "salt":
"So salt," I sputter, to begin my lecture,
...and just think! You could have deathless verse of your very own!