Maximum Verbosity
Home What's new Now playing Archives About us Contact Links spacer previous work


(photo by Dennis Zerwas, Jr.)

Get Thee Behind Me, Santa

an inexcusably filthy children's time-travel musical for adults only


“I leaned back in my chair and tried to wash away the uncomplicated flavors of shame, bile, and monkey spit.”

- Get Thee Behind Me, Santa

Online Praise for Get Thee Behind Me, Santa


" off-the-wall noir-ish tale of blasphemy, time-travel, and social commentary on the hyper-commercialization of Christmas, interwoven with a series of 'Carols' that certainly deliver on the book's subtitle...the plot has the zaniness of something you and your friends would conceive while consuming way too much cheap whiskey after your 2:00 college creative writing class gets out..."

"...if you want a quick read...that will have you laughing and entertained with a 'holiday theme' then I can recommend this book. If you are a 'Church Lady' and want to get this to prove how much of a prude you are and complain how no one should read this...then pick it up too. It may just put a smile on your face..."

"I found this book to be completely, riotously hilarious...not a book for anyone who gets sick easily, or can't take a joke...quite offensive and crude and lewd and disgusting and harsh and unnecessary but that's what I loved about it."

Script Information


a one-act musical comedy
original music and lyrics by Pablo Jones
adapted for the stage by Derek Dirlam and Joey Hamburger
based on the comic fantasy novella by phillip andrew bennett low
estimated running time: ninety minutes (without intermission)

Cast: six male, one female (with cross-gender casting easily possible), seven total.
Setting: Heaven, Golgotha, the North Pole, Emesa, and various locations throughout suburban America.
Time: various times in various timelines, from 33 to 569 to 2012 AD.

Produced? Yes, at Strike Theater.
Family-friendly? No; contains heavy profanity, bawdy humor, and frank sexual dialogue.

About the Show


It’s December 21st, 2012, and something’s gone terribly wrong with the timeline. Now it’s up to Saint Nicholas, a soft-boiled detective, and an unknown carpenter’s son named Jesus of Nazareth to set things right in this giddily blasphemous collection of literary and musical parodies!

Based on the comic fantasy novella by humorist and internationally touring storyteller phillip andrew bennett low, adapted for the stage by playwright Joey Hamburger of Sheep Theater (Best Theater Troupe, City Pages 2018) and Derek Dirlam of the Conundrum Collective, and featuring original songs by Pablo Jones!

WARNING: May contain mature language, as well as immature and insensitive humor regarding genitalia, flatulence, regurgitation, sex, drugs, rock and roll, lies, videotape, duct tape, tapeworms, subversion of ethnic stereotypes, fulfilment of ethnic stereotypes, hate culture, rape culture, ape culture, horticulture, and/or a general posture of deep reverence for deep irreverence. Not for the faint of heart or stomach.



Order the comic fantasy novella upon which the show was based!